- She's cute, man. - Jesus Christ.
- [Snorts] - What's wrong?
- Mike, you just looked right at her. - Come on, she didn't notice.
- Yeah, she did. - l better go in early now.
- l'm sorry, man. l didn't know. - Don't sweat it, Mike.
lt's gonna be a lay-up.
36-24-36 What a winnin' hand
- Uh... - How're you guys doing?
- Not well. - What, rejected?
"Shaqued."
Just watch old T-bone there and learn.
She's a brick house
My whole life people have told me l have this star quality.
- Have they? - Well, l don't know if it's true.
But, well, this one time... this is really stupid...
- But in kindergarten, you know... - lt's all right.
You know how you have those little crushes? l had this crush on this guy Lee.
He was really cute, and he wore Lee Jeans. They said "Lee."
Anyway, l really liked him. And then one day he told me l was ugly.
l started crying, and my teacher was, like,
"Deidre, you are so emotional. You are so dramatic.
You should be an actress!"
- ["Jaws Theme"] - lt was, like, that's it! l should be an actress.
And you know what? l can cry on cue.
- Yeah! Well, totally. - Uh-huh.
Well, that's really been sort of my thing, you know. lt got me into Juilliard.
And the agent said to me afterwards that he thought...
- he really was reminded by me... - [Grows Louder]
of Tina Yothers, you know, from Family Ties.
And he said l looked just like her.
- [Continues Babbling] - [Continues]
She's the one, the only one Built like an Amazon, Yeah
[Laughs] Was that money or what?
Kind of a dick move, if you ask me.
Why, baby? What'd l do wrong?
- You asked a girl for her number and you tore it up. - She didn't see that.
- lt doesn't matter. - That was pretty cold, dude.
What was so cold about it?
Right. [Laughs]
See, man, you can't roll with that. She's business class.
- Business class? - Big butt. You know, can't fly coach?
You guys are terrible.
Gentlemen, out of Glenfiddich.
- What else is going on? - Could hit the Dresden.
Perfect.
Well, this place is dead anyway, man. Let's do it.
[Synthesizer, Drum]
What do you say, man?
[Marty] You can tell by the way l use my walk
l'm a woman's man No time to talk
- [Elayne] Hi, friends. - The music's loud and women warm
l've been kicked around since l was born
Now it's all right, it's okay You may look the other way
- You can try to understand - New York Times' effect on man
Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother
We're staying alive Staying alive
Feel the city shaking and everybody's breaking
l'm staying alive Staying alive
Ah, ha, ha, ha Staying ali-ive
Ahh, ahh
Yeah, l know what you're saying, man. l just don't know what to tell you.
l mean, does it have to be Goofy?
You know, l was Hamlet two months ago Off-Broadway, and l was good.
- [Charles] Yeah. - [Trent] Wow!
- Someone got out of school early today. - [Sue] They like our vibe.
- [Trent] Oh, it's on. - [Sue] lt's definitely on.
Feel the city shaking and everybody's breaking
We're staying alive Staying alive
- Ah, ha, ha, ha, staying alive Staying alive - God bless you guys.
Ah, ha, ha, ha Staying ali-ive
Ahh, ahh
Hi, can l get a Dewars on the, uh, Dewars on the rocks?
- l-l can't even get this guy to notice me. - [Laughs]
You're laughing at me? That's funny to you, huh?
- [Laughing] - Great. Good. Great day.
l-l'm sorry. l shouldn't.
- Let me make it up to you. - [Bartender] Hang on, Nick.
That's pretty... They know you around here, huh?
Uh, hi. l'll have a Dewars on the rocks, please.
And some more olives for... for our little friend here.
Do l know you? l mean, where do l know you from?
Um, you ever been to the Ha-Ha Hole on Pico?
- Hmm, no. - No? You're sure? Monday nights, open mike?
- l host an open mike there. - Hmm, no.
Oh, you're... you're a comedian.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a dream, you know. lt's a lot of hard work and travel and, uh, hotels.
l have a new booking agent, though, so l'm part of the whole Vegas circuits.
The money's pretty good. l might buy a car, l think. You know, a foreign car.
Treat myself. l figure l worked for it. Why not?
l know where it is. Starbucks.
l served you an espresso at Starbucks.
Espresso. An espresso. Yes, that's my drink. That's probably it.
That's great. lsn't that funny?
You came in and asked me for an application.
And then l took you and introduced you to my manager.
Must've been a while ago, 'cause right now l have a booking agent.
'Cause l've been... l have a booking agent now that l've got.
- No. - Yeah.
- lt was about two weeks ago. - lt was probably more.
Probably longer, 'cause things have been going very well lately.
l haven't been looking for a job in a while.
lt could have been someone who looks like me, 'cause there's a lot of people who look kinda...
- See, l have a face that's similar... - You better pay the man.
Here's the, uh... Here's... Just take this.
l've been doing very well. Thank you. Uh, thank you...
- Nikki. - Nikki. Thank you, Nikki.
Mm-hmm.
- We got digits, baby. - Yeah, what a surprise.
What's wrong with you? l saw you talkin' to a beautiful brunette baby.
She didn't like me, okay? l made a fool of myself.
- Baby, don't talk that way. - You're so money, and you don't even know it.
- That's what l keep tryin' to tell him. - Could you not mess with me?
- Baby, we're not messing with you. - We're not.
You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and fangs, man.
- Big fuckin' teeth, man. - Yeah, big fuckin' teeth on ya.
She's just like this little bunny who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
- [Sue] Shivering. - Yeah, man, just kinda...
You got these claws and you're staring at these claws, and you're thinkin' to yourself,
with these claws, you're thinkin', "How am l supposed to kill this bunny?"
You're pokin' at it, man.
You're not hurtin' it. You're just kinda gently battin' the bunny around.
You know what l mean? And the bunny's scared of you.
- And it's shivering. - You got the fucking claws!
These claws and these fangs! You're looking at your claws and your fangs.
You're thinking to yourself, "l don't know what to do, man.
l don't know how to kill the bunny." With this, you don't know how to kill the bunny!
You're like a big bear, man.
- So you're not just fuckin' with me? - No, l'm not fucking with you!
- Honestly! - Mike, l'm telling you, you're money.
You're so fucking money.
l want you to go over to that girl and l want you to get those digits.
- You're money. - Come here a second. Listen to me.
Look it, when you go up to talk to her, man,
l don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen.
l want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know?
The guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet.
You're not sure where he's coming from, okay? You're a bad man.
You're a bad man. You're a bad man.
Bad man.
["Jaws Theme"]
[Grows Louder]
All right, all right.
See, baby, it's not that hard.
- 818? - 310.
[Together] Nice.
- So how long do l wait to call? - A day.
- Tomorrow. - Mm-mmm.
- Tomorrow, then a day. - Yeah.
- So two days. - Yeah, l guess you could call it that... two days.
Definitely. Two days is like industry standard.
l used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days.
So l think three days is kinda money. What do you think?
- Two's enough not to look anxious. - Two's enough not to look anxious.
But l think three days is kinda money.
Maybe l'll wait three weeks. How's that?
And tell her l was cleaning out my wallet and l just happened to run into her number.
- Then ask her where you met her. - Yeah.
l don't remember. What does she look like? Then l'll ask if we fucked.
Would that... T, would that be the money?
You know what? Ha, ha, ha, Mike. Laugh all you want.
But if you call too soon, you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
- How long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies? - [Together] Six days.
Different, l don't know, schools of philosophy, they all can fight each other.
[All Chattering]
- l think l like this town. - No, no, gotta go to New Orleans.
Hey, how're you doin'?
[Quietly] Watch where you're going, asshole.
What'd you say, bitch?
l said watch where you're going, bitch.
- Oh, so you want something. - [Man] Hey, fucker. Hey.
- Fuck him up. - Smack that fuckin' bitch.
- Yeah, motherfucker. - You got a fucking problem with me, bitch?
Come on! Yeah, l got a fuckin' problem, motherfucker!
- Yeah, come on! - You're the fuckin' bitch, baby!
- Come on, bitch. You little fuckin' pussy! - Come on, punk, do it.
- Slap that bitch. - Roll up, bitch.
- Hey, you're a fuckin' bitch! You're a fuckin' bitch! - You wanna go?
l'll show you who the fucking bitch is!
Huh?
- [Muttering] - You're the fucking bitch!
- [Tires Screech] - Motherfucker!
- What the fuck? - You asshole! Didn't you see Boyz N the Hood?
- Now one of us is gonna get shot. - He ain't gonna do anything.
- You fuckin' asshole. - What a fuckin' dick.
What the fuck did you want me to do, back down? He called me a bitch.
- We kept our rep, bro. - Fuck rep, man. l got a callback tomorrow.
Yeah, l gotta get up early tomorrow.
What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? ln case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Hey, man, you're not from here. You don't know how it is.
- l grew up in L.A. - Anaheim.
Whatever, man. lt's different out here. lt's not like New York, Mikey.
Fuckin' A right, it's not like New York. Out here you can avoid trouble.
lt's not like you live in Compton, Sue, with bullets whizzing by your head.
You live in a good neighborhood, man. ln New York trouble finds you.
- People get carjacked. - Oh, man, who would ever carjack your fuckin' K car?
He's right, Sue. You don't need to carry a gat.
Just 'cause l had the balls to stand up to these guys...
Like fuckin' House of Pain was gonna do anything?
- You like in this fucking fantasy world. - Wha...
What about you, Mikey? At least l fuckin' have balls, man.
You're always whining about some bitch that left you a year ago!
lt was six months ago, and she didn't leave me.
Whatever, man! You're like a fuckin' little whiny bitch, man.
Oh, whoopee, you got a number tonight? You're gonna fuck it up.
- Hey, Sue. - No. Have you gotten laid once since you moved out here?
- Have you fucked once? - Why don't you shut the fuck up for a little bit?
l know for a fact that you haven't. You know how l know?
- 'Cause you never shut up about it! - Shut the fuck up, Sue!
- Ah, he's fuckin' right. - Shut up! Hey, Mike, come here.
Mike, come back here! Mike, come back here!
- He was fuckin' pissing me off! - Just shut the fuck up.
Just shut the fuck up. l don't even want to fuckin' talk to you right now.
- l do... - Shut the fuck up!
- [Click] - You have no messages.
[Beep]
[Dialing]
[Rings]
Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message. [Machine Beeps]
Hi. Uh, Nikki, this is Mike.
l met you at the, um, at the Dresden, uh, tonight.
Uh, l just called t-to say that l had a great time...
and you should call me tomorrow, or in, uh, t-two days, uh, whatever.
Anyway, uh, my number...
is 213-555-4679...
[Machine Beeps]
[Dial Tone, Redialing]
[Rings]
Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message. [Machine Beeps]
Hi, uh, Nikki, this is Mike again.
l just called 'cause it sounded like your machine might've cut me off...
when, uh, when l... before l finished leaving my number.
Anyway, uh... And also, uh, sorry to call so late,
but you were still at the Dresden when l left, so l knew l'd get your machine.
Anyhow, uh, uh, my number's 2-1...
[Machine Beeps]
[Dial Tone, Redialing]
[Rings]
Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message. [Machine Beeps]
213-555-4679. That's it. Just wanna leave my number.
l didn't want you to think l was weird or desperate or...
We should just, uh, hang out...
and, uh, see where it goes.
'Cause it's nice and, uh, you know, no expectations.
So, okay? Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
[Dial Tone, Redialing]
[Rings]
Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message. [Machine Beeps]
l just got out of a six-year relationship, okay?
That should help explain why l'm acting so weird. l just wanted you to know that.
lt's not you, it's me. l'm sorry.
This is Mike.
[Beeps]
[Dial Tone, Redialing]
[Rings]
Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message. [Machine Beeps]
Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just, uh, call me when you get in?
l'm gonna be up for a while and l'd rather speak to you in person...
- instead of trying to fit it all into... - [Machine Beeps]
Fuck!
[Dial Tone, Redialing]
[Rings]
Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message. [Machine Beeps]
Uh, Nikki? M-Mike.
lt's, uh, uh... lt's just, uh...
This just isn't working out.
l-l think you're great, but, uh, l-l...
Maybe we should just take some time off from each other.
lt's not you, it's me. lt's what l'm going through.
All right? Uh, i-i-it's, it... [Sighs]
- lt's only been six months... - [Receiver Picks Up]
- Mike? - Nikki! Great!
D-Did you just walk in, or were you listening all along?
- Don't ever call me again. - [Receiver Hangs Up]
Wow. l-l guess you're home.
[Phone Rings]
[Ringing Continues]
[Mike On Machine] Hey, this is Mike. Leave a message after the beep.
[Machine Beeps]
Hey, Mikey, it's Trent. You home? You there?
All right, man, l guess you're not home.
Why don't you come out tonight, Mikey? l haven't seen you for two days.
We're gonna play hockey at Sue's house until 10:30,
and then we're either going to the Lava Lounge for Sinatra Night...
or we'll be at the Derby for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.
We might also check out Swing Night at the El Rey.
And if we're not there we'll be at the Three of Clubs, all right?
Otherwise we'll be at the Dresden Room, so come on out and meet up with us.
- See you soon, gorgeous. - [Machine Beeps]
[Phone Rings]
- [Ringing Continues] - [Machine Picks Up]
Hey, this is Mike. Leave a message after the beep. [Machine Beeps]
Mikey, it's Rob. l'm downstairs.
Come on, pick it up and buzz me in, buddy.
Come on, open up.
[Machine Beeps]
[Beep]
[Sighs]
Thanks, man.
You eat anything today?
Yesterday?
You haven't been drinking, have you?
[Mike Mutters, lndistinct]
- Sorry about what happened at the Dresden, man. - Oh, don't worry about it, man.
lt's like, now l have my L.A. gun story. [Chuckles]
You should hear the way l tell it to the guys back home... it's an Uzi.
- You wanna talk about it? - What's the point?
Hey, it's been two days. You should call that Nikki girl.
Not your type.
l'm thinking of moving back East.
- Well, that's dumb. - What's so dumb about it?
You're doing really well out here, Mike.
How well am l doin'?
l host an open mike; l play a fuckin' bus driver in a movie.
Big fuckin' deal.
l got an agent that specializes in magicians.
How good am l doin'?
Did you get turned down for Goofy?
They turned you down?
Yeah, they went with somebody who had some more theme park experience.
l killed for that job.
The point is, Mike, it all depends on how you look at it. All right?
You're telling me that your life sucks. That means mine is god-awful.
Part of the reason l moved out here is l saw how well you were doing,
and l figured if you could make it, l could too.
- l didn't make it. - You got an agent. You got in the unions.
You know, that's your problem, is that you...
You don't look at the things that you have.
You only look at the stuff you don't have.
Those guys are right about you. You're money.
Then why won't she call?
She won't call because you left.
She's got her own life to deal with, man, and that's in New York.
She's a sweet girl and l love her to pieces,
but fuck her, man... you gotta get on with your life.
You gotta let go of the past, and Mikey, when you do the future is beautiful.
All right? Look out the window.
lt's sunny every day here. lt's like manifest destiny.
Don't tell me we didn't make it. We made it. We are here.
Everything that is past is prologue to this.
All of the shit that didn't kill us is only...
Ah, you know. All that shit.
You're gonna get over it.
How did you get over it? How long did it take?
l don't know. Sometimes it still hurts.
You know how it is, man. lt's like...
You wake up every day, it hurts a little bit less,
then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all.
And the funny thing is...
This is kinda weird, but it's like...
you almost miss that pain.
You miss the pain?
Yeah, for the same reason that you miss her.
Because you... you lived with it for so long.
Let's go get something to eat.
All right. Sure.
You look like shit.
[Chuckles]
- [Computer Game] - [Doorbell Rings]
- [Men Arguing, Shouting] - Mikey! What's up, man?
[Man] You wanna play again, motherfucker?
l'm glad you came out tonight. lt's good to see you.
- You're my problem, you bitch motherfucker! - Come on in.
- Come on, bitch! - You want some?
- [Sue] Hey, guys! Mikey's here! - What's up, Mikey?
- What's up, baby? - [Shouting, Greetings Continue]
- Oh, so you want some? You want some? - You ain't shit!
Roll up, bitch! Roll up! Roll. That's right.
- You run. You run, baby. - [Shouting Continues]
Blast him! Come on, hit him!
- All right. - Okay, bitch.
- You ready, hip hop? - Uh-huh.
- Come on, man! Let's move it up! - Hey, man.
What are they doing here?
Oh, no, no, it's totally cool, man.
We saw 'em that night at Roscoe's. Trent cleared it up.
l apologized, bought 'em some chicken and waffles. lt's totally fine.
They fuckin' love T, man. That boy can talk.
[Shouting Continues]
More important, man,
l'm sorry about what l said.
l was out of line. l was drunk, my adrenalin was goin'.
Yeah, you know, whatever. l needed a good kick in the ass.
lt was a... l don't know. We're better friends for it. All right?
All right, man.
- Roll up, bitch! Roll! - Come on, let's see it!
- Thanks, man. - Get off me!
l been hatin' myself for the last few days.
- [Man] That's all right. l keep it in the zone. - Look, l know what that's like.
- Come on, Superman. - You watchin', New Kids On The Block?
- Yo, Double Down, what time we leaving? - Five minutes, baby.
Hey, Mikey, you should call that girl Nikki. lt's been two days.
See if she wants to meet you there.
[Swing Jazz]
Hey, Curt.
Aw, we got a line. We got a line.
Hey, what's up, Lisa?
- Let's just take the front. - We don't gotta wait in line.
- Come on, Mike. - [Continues Faint, Fades]
Hey, hey, Tony. Whadda ya say, man?
- How you doin' tonight? - Hey, Gary.
- What's goin' on? - Hey, Tony, man, how'd the audition go?
- Not happening, man. - Yeah? You look like you been workin' out though.
- All right. - How you doin', man?
Watch the steps. They're greasy.
[Resumes, Faint]
And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
[Continues]
Hey, whadda ya say, man?
Hey, how's it goin'? What's up?
- Hey. - ¿Que paso?
[Woman Speaking Spanish]
How you doin', Annie? Good to see you. l'll see you soon.
- Hey, sweetie. - Hola. ¿Como esta?
- Raoul, what's up, man? How's it goin'? - [Continues, Loud]
Keep the waters comin'.
My favorite watering hole
l said, hey, Moe How you doin'
Where have you been
He said, l been found buyin' whiskey wine and gin
Man, l know we gotta go
lt's the same thing every night
But l don't think another drink is gonna make me lose my mind
So l'll think about my next drink
And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
Come on, Daddy, let's get us a drink.
Swing it, kid!
Yo! Bartender!
And Jack, oh, l know what you're thinkin'
That now's as good as any to start drinkin'
- Hey, Scotty. - Yeah? - What's it gonna be
A gin and tonic sounds mighty, mighty good to me
Well, man, l know we gotta go
lt's the same thing every night
But l don't think another drink is gonna make me lose my mind
So l'll think about my next drink
And it's you and me and the bottle makes three tonight
- [Applause, Cheering] - Okay!
- To ladies? - To ladies.
Gin time.
l don't know. l called you Monday.
You called me? Well, who did you talk to? l was home Monday.
lt surprises me that you've never mentioned her before, all the times we've hung out.
- You never even mentioned me? - Very pretty girl.
- l totally mentioned her... l totally mentioned you. - l'm sorry. Maybe l don't know.
- Hi, Mike. How are you? - You know what's funny?
- When we... When we played football that day, - Oh, Jesus Christ.
l don't remember you ever leaving long enough to make a phone call to anybody.
This is what happened. She's a nice girl.
Excuse me.
[Clears Throat]
[Chuckles]
- Hi. - Hi.
- l'm, uh, l'm Mike. - Hi, Mike.
- l'm Lorraine. - Like the quiche.
Yeah, yeah, the quiche. That's a really original joke.
l like quiche. How's that?
Yeah? Well, l thought real men didn't like quiche.
Yeah, well, uh, my reputation seems to have preceded me here.
You're not a real man?
Not lately, no.
Not funny, okay?
- You're fuckin' hurting feelings here. - Hey, it's on. lt's on.
- [Sue] Oh. lt's on. - lt is so on.
[Both Gasp]
l figured, they make movies in L.A., not in Wisconsin, so l moved here.
Just like that.
- Well, yeah. lt wasn't that simple, but... - How was it hard?
l left someone really special behind.
Tell me about it.
- You too? - Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
- Oh. l thought l was gonna die. - Oh, God.
lt's been six months and l'm just starting to get over it now.
Wow, that's two more than me.
- Tell me it gets better. - Oh, it does, yeah. lt does.
- [Laughs] - God bless him.
God bless that kid.
That's great, man.
What advantages, you mean?
Yeah. You said there are advantages to being single.
l just wanna know what the advantages are.
Well, exactly, it's like, you know, you, uh, have com...
lf you meet a girl in a bar and talk to her, you don't have to worry if anybody's watching you.
What else?
What? You can do whatever you want, you know.
You grow, go out, anything.
Like, if l met a handsome young man at a bar,
l could just ask him to dance?
lf the guy wanted to, yeah.
You don't think he would want to?
Oh, yeah... No, l mean, he would want to with you. Sure. l mean, if he...
Sure. M-M-Maybe it's just that he doesn't feel like dancing.
Would you dance with me?
Okay.
Dude, check it out, dude. l swear to God, it's fuckin' on.
- Dude, it's so fuckin' on, dude. - l know. lt's on.
- Give it up for Mike. - Look, l...
- Dude, it's fucking on, dude! - Okay, okay. lt's on, dude.
- lt's on. To you. - Jesus Christ. l'm sorry.
[Mid-Tempo Jazz]
[Ends]
- [Up-Tempo Swing] - Thanks.
Go, daddy-o
[Singer] Go!
Go, daddy-o
- [Ends] - [Applause]
[Whispers] All right.
This is it.
Yeah.
- l had a... l had a great time tonight. - Me too.
We should do it again some time.
l'll be around.
That's not gonna be good enough.
l wanna make plans to see you again.
l got a pen in my car.
- Uh, l mean, yeah. Do you have something to write on? - [Laughs]
Yeah. Yeah.
Ahh. Oh, you're a comedian.
- Yeah, and an actor. Kind of. - Oh.
Can l come see you some time?
lf and when l get a real gig, l'll give you a call.
- How's that? - lt's not going too well? [Laughs]
No, when l, uh, l lived in New York they made it sound...
like, uh, they were giving sitcoms out to stand-ups at the airport here.
l been here six months, all l got to show for it is black lung.
[Chuckles]
Didn't you tell me that l should be patient with my career?
Yeah, but entertainment law isn't something you just jump into.
Well, neither is acting, not if you're serious about it.
- Yeah. - Can l have one of these cards?
- Why? You like the duck with the cigar? - Yeah.
Yeah, it's the logo from You Bet Your Life.
- [Laughs] Nice touch. - l can't believe you got that.
You know, not one club owner got that.
- They all asked me why l got Donald Duck on my card. - They're idiots.
At least it's not Goofy.
Well, l guess l should be getting home. lt's really getting late.
Yeah, sure. lt's gettin' kinda late, so you probably...
Do you want me to drive you to your car?
- That's my hog right th... - [Giggles] Oh.
No, l'm across the street. Yeah.
- Yeah? Which one? - The red piece of shit over there.
- Yeah? Well, it suits you. - Get the hell outta here.
Okay.
[Horn Honks]
[Engine Starts]
[Trent Shouting] Party, buddy! Yeah! Dig that!
[Guys Laughing, Chattering]
- [Sue] Will you shut up? - You were great tonight!
[Laughing Loudly] There she is!
The wonderful lady. Right? Personality plus, every time l come in here.
Nothin' but smiles for me. Whatever. Here it is.
Dinner at the Apollo. Me and you.
- See that? He's being funny. - Whatever.
l don't have to be liked by everyone. Some don't like me. l don't like certain people.
- Darlin', l think everything looks absolutely wonderful. - Thank you.
- Oww! What the hell are you kickin' me for? - Shh!
Fine, l'll ask her. Ma'am! Where do the high school girls hang out around here?
You were fuckin' off your ass tonight.
- Shh. - Where'd you learn your stuff, man?
- The twirly-whirly... - Shh, just be... Shh. Jackknife, shut up.
l took a ballroom class with Michelle.
She's the only one l danced with 'til tonight. That Lorraine is good.
You are definitely good. Did you even see how she was vibing you tonight?
- Sorry, man. - You coulda hit that if you didn't have to take us home.
- Definitely. - lt's not like that.
- Don't give me that shit. l think she likes you. - l know she does.
- l really do! - Shh! Shut up, okay? l know she likes me.
- l just didn't wanna do anything tonight. - You know what, Mike?
- Wait three days before you call her. - You don't have to wait.
- He should wait two days. - lf he's smart about it...
Shh! You know what? l have it under control. Okay?
- [Snickers] - He has it under control.
Well, l guess we don't have to worry about him anymore.
Our little baby's all "growns" up.
- You know what? - [Whispers] Shh! Shut up. Come on.
- Our little baby's all "growns" up. - Why do you have to...
- [Giggling] - l'm not even hungry. l couldn't touch it.
Why do you have to make a major production every time we go out and embarrass me?
You know what... Oh, Jesus Christ. That's all l need.
Our little boy's all "growns" up tonight!
You know what, big boy? You're grown up! You're grown up!
Yeah! Dig that!
ls this a fuckin' production for ya?
'Cause you're "growns" up and you're "growns" up and you're "growns" up.
- [Sue] Jesus. - l'm the asshole in the place. Right? l'm the asshole?
- Oh, God. - l'm outta here, honey.
- l wouldn't eat here... l would never eat here anyway. - [Silverware Clatters]
l like cake
And no mistake
But baby, if you insist
l'll cut out cake
Just for your sake
Baby, come on and knock me a kiss
Knock me a kiss
[Alarm Beeping]
[Continues Beeping]
[Phone Rings]
[Ringing Continues]
- Hello? - [Woman On Phone] Hi, Michael.
- Michelle? - Hi. How's it goin'? lt's been a while.
- S-Six months. - How are you doin'?
[Sighs] Uh, fine, l guess.
- H-How are you? - Good.
l, um, l think about things.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
What kind of things?
You know, us.
- l thought you met someone else. - lt doesn't matter.
- l think about you every day. - Really?
l miss you, Mike.
Why didn't you call?
l don't know. l mean, l couldn't.
Do you know how hard it is to not call you?
l mean, l pick up the phone every night, whenever that commercial comes on.
- The Michelin commercial? - Yeah, you know, the one with the baby in the tire.
- One time l started to cry right in front of Pierre. - Pierre?
Th-That's his name, Pierre? What, is he French?
No, he's not. Listen, it's a whole other headache and l don't want to talk about him.
l, um, l called 'cause l heard you might be moving back to Queens.
- [Phone Clicks] - Yeah. Hang on a second. Let me get rid of this.
- Hello? - Hi, Mike?
- Lorraine! - Are you on the other line?
- Yeah. Oh, hang on a second... - l could call back.
No, no. You hang on, okay? l want to talk to you.
Just hold on. Hello?
So l heard you might be moving back to New York.
Yeah, l don't think that's going to be happening just yet. Um, can l call you right back?
Um, well, l'm going out of town for a week and the cab's on its way.
Can't you just talk to me for five minutes?
Look, there's somebody holding on the other line. l have to take this call.
l really want to catch up with you, but, um, l have to take the call.
So just... Uh, l'm gonna call you back when you get back into town.
- Okay? - Okay.
- ls that okay? - Yeah.
- Really? You sure? - lt's all right. All right.
- All right, bye-bye. - Good-bye. l love y...
- Hello? - Hi. Oh, you didn't have to get off of the other line.
- l would've called you back. - No, that's okay. l wanted to talk to you.
You know, l really could... could've called you back, but...
Anyway, l probably should have waited two days. That's what my friends said.
But... God, l sound like such a schoolgirl. lt's just, they have this thing, okay?
lt's at The Room. lt's Sinatra's birthday.
And it's one of these Hollywood clubs and there's no sign.
Uh, l don't understand why... why they don't have any signs.
lt's just l'm really bad at this.
l just want to know if you might want to go with me.
- [Trent] So, uh, you hung up on which one? - [Mike] Michelle.
- You hung up with your girlfriend. - Ex.
- Oh, now she's your ex. - She was always my ex.
Yeah, right.
- You hung up with her? - l wanted to take the other call.
- What'd she say when you called her back? - l didn't.
- You didn't call her back? - No.
- Why not, Mike? - lt didn't occur to me.
Didn't occur to you.
lt didn't.
You been, uh, tearing yourself up about this girl for six months.
Didn't occur to you?
No.
Well, Michael, l'll bite.
You know, man, l didn't understand it either. lt's all so hard.
Then it hit me on the way over here, you know, like a ton of bricks.
lt's just so simple.
- When you... - Dude, dude, wait a second.
l'm getting vibe like in a really weird way here.
This girl's looking at me like she knows me a little bit.
- You don't recognize her? - Mike, l don't know.
l could've been out with Sue one night drinking and told her l was a race car driver.
No, l think l would remember this girl.
l don't think l've ever met her before. l would definitely remember this one.
She got a lot of confidence, man. She's doing like...
- Wow. [Laughs] - What's going...
Mike, stop, stop. Stop, all right? Just stop.
She's playing a little game, like a fun thing with me.
Come on, you little party girl. That's it. Come on. Fun little games?
You want to play fun little games? Come on, you nasty little, cute little baby.
- What are you doing? - Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Stop. Don't. Don't, don't.
She's smiling at me. She's playing fun little baby games.
She don't know me. She doesn't know my address. You know my address?
You little... Oh, you... Hold on.
She's coming over, dude. Play it cool. She's coming over.
She's like the wild loony. But l threw, like, the great vibe at her, the funny vibe.
- You'll see. - [Babbling]
- Shit. - Mommy's big boy.
We're going bye-bye now. Yes, we're going bye-bye.
We're gonna go home, gonna play with Daddy.
So, um, so you called her up, right?
Or you didn't call her. Why didn't you call her? You said you didn't call her.
Why didn't you call her? Mike?
Mike?
l never cared much for moonlit skies
Never winked back at fireflies
But now that the stars are in your eyes
l'm beginnin' to see the light
And l never went in for afterglow
Or candlelight on the mistletoe
But now when you turn the lamp down low
l'm beginnin' to see the light
l used to ramble through the park
Shadowboxin' in the dark
Then you came and caused the spark
That's a four-alarm fire now
l never made love by lantern shine
l never saw rainbows in my wine
But now that your lips are burnin' mine
l'm beginnin' to see the light
l never cared much for moonlit skies
l never winked back at fireflies
But now that the stars are in your eyes
l'm beginnin' to see the light
And l never went in for afterglow
Or candlelight on the mistletoe
But now when you turn the lamp down low
l'm beginnin' to see the light
You know, l used to ramble through the park
Shadowboxin' in the dark
Then you came and lit that spark
That's a four-alarm fire now
And l never made love by lantern shine
Never saw rainbows in my wine
But now that your lips are burnin' mine
l'm beginnin'
Mm, to see the light